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Sample message for online dating email

Case history: “The first time Jim [who’s now my boyfriend] wrote me, he wasn’t scared to be sincere, which made me really want to get to know him.

attractive.” —Francesca Dubensky, Marina Del Rey, CA Love lesson: Most online daters are now excellent at identifying emails that either try too hard to seem casual or the opposite—ones that get overly enthusiastic and make them suspect it’s all just a line.

“Before you get to know one another, cleverness can come off as sarcastic,” warns Judsen Culbreth, author of .

Since I’d mentioned both football and Almodovar in my profile, her note showed that she’d really read my profile, and it sealed the deal for me!

” —Steven Gartland, Poughkeepsie, NY Love lesson: It’s so simple, but when people are working to impress another person, they can forget to focus on, well, that other person.

Also get Case history: “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written back to a member just because they started their email to me with ‘Hello’ and then my online name, instead of just a generic ‘Hey! Next time you’re about to say something to someone you know, plug the person’s name into the sentence.

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Case history: “I’ve hit reply when a guy calls me, in a smart-aleck way, on something I’ve said in my profile.One guy said ‘You say you love your i Pod and the sand, so remind me never to lend you my i Pod before you wreck it at the beach! If someone challenges me in a fun way, it makes me feel like I have to defend myself.

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ouldn’t it be great if every time you sent a message to a member whose profile you dug, you heard back right away with a friendly “You sound intriguing. Well, unfortunately, it won’t always happen, but there are things you can write to increase your chances of engaging your crush in an e-conversation.One guy mentioned that he’d traveled the world, and since that’s always been a dream of mine, I had to hear all about it.It absolutely got me to write back.” —Kim Newman, San Diego, CA Love lesson: The number-one challenge in online dating is standing out from the crowd somehow (in a good way, of course).“The formula for writing the first email is very easy: Take one thing out of the person’s profile and say you noticed it,” says Liz Kelly, dating coach and author of .“It shows you read the profile and invites the person to respond and tell you more about that aspect.” But rather than bombarding a potential match with questions, this basic format lets you get personal without going overboard.Also, know that women get complimented on their pictures all the time—both our experts and users say it’s more effective when a guy says he was taken with something non-physical, like the way she writes or another attribute that was obvious through her profile.