As Christians, we are part of God’s family, and we allow other believers to speak into our lives.
And here’s the kicker: believe it or not, the Bible doesn’t actually say a whole lot about dating/courting relationships.
I want to suggest that we can make this whole dating thing a lot simpler and less confusing by simply holding fast to the clear, relatively few principles spelled out in Scripture. This is the overriding principle which must govern every relationship.
A guy must ask a girl’s dad first, then the guy must ask the girl, then the girl must say yes, then the couple can start seeing each other IN GROUPS (! If things go well for the first eight months or so, the couple may or may not be allowed to spend semi-unsupervised time together and possibly even (GASP! Once the young man has firmly established himself financially and is sufficiently godly, he can ask the girl to marry him. Both families, as well as lots of church members, must be involved in the entire process, from start to finish. There are so many variables in each relationship: the age of the couple, the spiritual maturity of the couple, whether or not both sets of parents are believers, how long the guy and girl have been a Christian, the ethnicity of the couple, and on and on.
To take some variation of the practices above and arbitrarily slap them onto a relationship can actually end up harming the relationship.
Courtship takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no hand-holding, no kissing) until marriage.
Is it sinful for a couple to drive to a deserted area at night just to “hang out”? Is it wise for a young man to talk to a young woman’s parents about dating/courting their daughter? It depends on whether the parents are Christians, how old the woman is, and a host of other conditions.Does a young man need to have financial stability before he can get married?
Not necessarily, but it is wise for him to think through his financial status.The Bible warns us that believers and unbelievers should not marry each other, because those living in the light (of Christ) and those living in the darkness cannot live in harmony (2 Corinthians -15).As stated before, during this time there should be little or no physical contact, as this is something that should wait until marriage (1 Corinthians -20).Dating couples are called to let other Christians speak the truth in love to them.This doesn’t mean that they hang out exclusively in groups, or only in the context of their extended families.This principle applies to dating couples, just like it applies to every other Christian.