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But talk like this makes my wife, and probably most Jews, nervous. I know that any sentence that begins “Jews are…” can only lead to trouble.

At, we found that asking someone to identify their religion in their dating profile is only useful when we combine that with a separate question, ‘how important is your religion to you’.

This is because religion can tell us something about a person’s background, as much as it can tell us about their values and beliefs.

My answer, as a non-Jew, is startlingly naïve and simplistic.

Jews as a people, despite adversity, have an extraordinary history of intelligence, compassion, achievement, and leadership in the world.

He looked at me quizzically: “What are you talking about? I said, “Let’s broaden the question: Do you think that Jews are different from non-Jews? And I smiled at her, because her answer was so totally Jewish.

My oldest boy had a three-year relationship with an Orthodox Jewish girl. If they had become engaged, we would have been thrilled.

He would think I was categorizing and stereotyping and simplifying in a foolish way. And this is precisely where I am confused about this issue: What exactly does one say to one’s twenty-three-year-old Jewish offspring, especially if one is not Jewish himself, to make that person understand that it is important that he/she marry a Jew?We have been active in our interfaith group and have spent many years bemoaning the fact that most Reform rabbis refuse to marry interfaith couples.Now many of us are beginning to wonder whether our interfaith experiment in raising our children Jewish will amount to nothing–if our children will marry non-Jews and our grandchildren will loose any attachment to Judaism–or whether our interfaith marriages will contribute to a continuation of Judaism, through marriage to another Jew. I have no data on past behavior or future predictions.I am not a very religious person, nor is my wife, but I think our children have adopted and understand their identity as Jews.Unfortunately, none of them makes any distinctions in dating patterns between Jews and non-Jews.If you’re in the club, stay there and make sure your children stay there.