Dating while sober
Nothing is cut and dry, and love is messy wherever you find it.
So if you’re doing Dry January this year and looking for some tips to help ease you into the dating scene, read on!
You might be spending endless time stressing over the fact that you’re sober and your date isn’t, but they actually…might not even care.
During her sobriety, Sam’s had two relationships with fellow sober addicts, but both ended because of their relapses. Dating a fellow addict can feel a bit like betting with the odds against you.
Hannah, a designer with startling blue eyes, is currently in a healthy relationship with a guy who’s been sober for almost 12 years. “Sober guys who are working a program [following the steps recommended by AA and NA] are the greatest.
The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?
You can tell them, “I’ve been in six rehabs, four psych wards, and I’ve been arrested for assault.” And, they’re like, “Of course you have.” The downside is that they, too, are often a ticking time bomb.Natasha, an ex-pat who's been on the wagon for 10 years agrees.
This is the reality facing anyone dating during Dry January. In case you don’t know, Dry January is the practice of staying totally alcohol-free during the first month of a new year.Sam confesses that her current boyfriend drinks moderately. If there is anything that will jeopardize the relationship, it will be that I don't feel that I can be with someone who drinks as regularly as he does.“Hannah echoes a similar sentiment, “Normie guys are great, I guess, but I think after some time, it would be too easy to convince myself that maybe I, too, could have ‘just one’ glass of wine with dinner.It's nice to have a sober partner to keep me accountable.” There are also some guys who don’t view women in recovery as long-term partners.During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?With somebody not in recovery, can they really ever understand your plight or your background? For those of us who are lucky enough to have escaped addiction to drugs or alcohol, there’s still a lot of things to negotiate.