Cher is dating
I’d like to know your rules for having a friends with benefits arrangement.
This is a recipe for disaster in a friends with benefits type of relationship since it’s easy to slide from wanting to fill a void into making a friends with benefits arrangement into something more. and whole, then your focus needs to be on living your life where you’re 100% in touch with your grounded, stable, ever-present sense of being OK you bring any sort of relationship into the picture (whether it’s a friends with benefits arrangement or any other type of relationship dynamic). You’re not looking for (and you won’t have) a “happy ending”…
FWB arrangements are super clean and simple: a relationship purely for sexual enjoyment and exploration. FWB arrangements are best thought of as a bonus to be enjoyed in your life, but not something you need to hold on to or possess… but you practice safe sex and educate yourself on what it means to have safe sex.
It simply means that you limit how you relate to them… If you notice strong negative feelings coming up in yourself, it’s time to end it. With all this in mind, this is why the next rule is super important…
If you notice strong negative reactions coming up in him… Even if you are great at following the first six rules, everything will come apart if you choose a guy who isn’t emotionally stable.
As a rule, though, never put your FWB into a role that is outside the arrangement (which is pure sexual enjoyment and exploration).
Yes, I understand that this isn’t what women say they typically want, but I just got out of a long, difficult relationship and I don’t want to dive right back into commitment again.Yes, I’d be happy to share the best friends with benefits rules so you can hook up without things being complicated.
This rule is what makes the difference between a fun, light, satisfying FWB situation…I’m not saying that you’re sleeping with multiple people, but it’s important that you keep your options open and keep yourself in the dating market.This protects you from slipping into thinking of the FWB arrangement as something more than it actually is, which is pure, simple, uncomplicated sexual exploration and enjoyment with a guy on an ongoing (but time-limited) basis.It is essential that you understand the risks involved with sex and protect yourself accordingly.Also, because the expectation is that he will probably be seeing other people, you need to be able to be 100% OK with this or don’t attempt to have a FWB arrangement in the first place. Being that you can expect he’ll be seeing other people (or at least, that he’s open to it at any given point), it’s important that you keep your options wide open too. I started by building an electronic organ back in 1966 (see "my early years) & built my first mechanical pipe organ in 2000 (see senior crank organ page).