Book dating rule
(One of these is "my internet is acting funny", which one male acquaintance suggested was about as seductive as Google chatting with his mum).
Fein and Schneider have even enlisted the help of their teenage daughters, to add their own take on romance in an over-connected era."These days, it doesn't matter whether a guy calls, texts or emails to ask you out," goes one of their hymeneal homilies, "as long as he asks you right." "Technology is great," continues Schneider. But it's the overuse of technology that is the problem. They're addicted to answering guys back in nanoseconds and they're not getting dates.
They're getting more texts and Facebook messages and no dates.""They're writing on guys' walls, friending their cousins and scaring them away," adds Fein.
But the dictates are famous: never approach a man, let him come to you; never suggest a date; don't be the one to initiate or perpetuate conversation or contact; and never, ever agree to a date that is less than 24 hours away."It's more complicated and confusing now," says Fein, "and women need a new book to navigate the unchartered dating territory."That territory includes texting, email, instant messaging, online dating, Facebook and Twitter.
Before these, there was just the telephone, which you invariably watched until it rang. Well, I did, but I already told you I wasn't a Rules girl.
Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower.
Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider practice what they preach.As authors of the dating guide that became a phenomenon – referenced in Sex and the City, and updated this year to include advice on how to date in the digital age – they achieved global fame for being women that know what men want.
It's not good or bad, it just doesn't work."Such is the crisis that constant contact has caused in our consciousness that Fein and Schneider have also created a chart in the new book that will tell you how long to wait before you text a man back (hint: the lag period increases, the older and supposedly wiser you are, and leave at least four hours before replying to man's initial text, whatever your age)."Don't text him back immediately… Never double text," they suggest."If you want more from a guy, give less."It's good advice, written in the vein of now-famous post-Rules guides Why Men Love Bitches and He's Just Not That Into You; each is predicated on creating an epiphany moment in women, when they suddenly understand what it is that men want or need from them.All told, it encouraged women to be a bit more cynical about their happily-ever- afters. When I ring them for our interview, both Fein and Schneider's phones refuse to accept my call because my number comes up as blocked.As the gurus who invented call screening, curtailing any contact that isn't face-to-face as quickly as possible, and good old-fashioned ignoring, this strikes me as particularly apt.Plenty of us have been waiting to find that out for years.The New Rules might not explain the great mystery, but they offer certain coping strategies in the meantime.Fein and Schneider also suggest various techniques for leaving an online chat or email chain as quickly as possible, to retain your mystique.